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Original with Hints

Cat and Physics

Source: http://www.hawhawjokes.com/animals/Cats_in_physics.htm

English Hints
1 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Inertia - Massenträgheit
scurry - trippeln
2 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
.
3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
fabric - Gewebe
4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
flow - fliessen
5 - Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
nap - Nickerchen
6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
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7 - Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
elongation: Verlängerung
counter: Ladentisch, Küchen-Tisch
8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
acceleration - Beschleunigung
9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
attendance - Anwesenheit
10 - Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
rug - Teppich, Vorleger
11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
obedience - Gehorsam
12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
conservation - Erhaltung
13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
store - speichern
14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
refrigerator - Kühlschrank
15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
blanket - Bett-Tuch
electric blanket - Wärmedecke
16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
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17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
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18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
embarrassment - Verlegenheit
Irritation - Verärgerung
19 - Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink her weight in milk, squared, just to show you she can.
squared - im Quadrat
20 - Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Furniture: Möbel
21 - Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
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22 - Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
displacement - Verdrängung
23 - Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest her.
inverse - umgekehrt
expend - aufwenden
24 - Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
escape - flüchten
velocity - Geschwindigkeit
25 - Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter
matter - Materie
does not matter - ist egal